Botjab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witty hedgehog.

Botjab created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botjab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Botjab, it will turn you into a goat.

Botjab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Botjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Botjab.

3. Respect your elders.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not commit murder.