Cumjipcab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, smart butterfly.

Cumjipcab created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cumjipcab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cumjipcab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cumjipcab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cumjipcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Cumjipcab loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cumjipcab.

4. Never feed cucumbers to otters while wearing shirts.

5. Never eat figs.