Nulbaghenhom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented squid.

Nulbaghenhom created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulbaghenhom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nulbaghenhom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nulbaghenhom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nulbaghenhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Nulbaghenhom on top of all buildings.

3. Never feed tomatoes to otters while wearing green shorts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Never wear ear rings.