Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy bat.

Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum, it will turn you into a slug.

Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Cabfarnlikzagbimfenstigwab Jadpidnadgunrapcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed lentils to foxes while wearing mauve kilts.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never wear tights.