Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent hydra.

Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Dadgidnib Nartapplarnkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to monkeys while wearing gray tights.

5. Do not drink alcohol.