Bigpomjab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awesome finch.

Bigpomjab created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Bigpomjab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bigpomjab, he will curse you with boils.

Bigpomjab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bigpomjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from violet porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never pour water over plants.