Ratyikdumlip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic rat.

Ratyikdumlip created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratyikdumlip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratyikdumlip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ratyikdumlip's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ratyikdumlip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.