Latquagmon Fonsanjan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing rat.

Latquagmon Fonsanjan created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Latquagmon Fonsanjan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Latquagmon Fonsanjan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Latquagmon Fonsanjan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Latquagmon Fonsanjan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Latquagmon Fonsanjan first in all things.

2. Run away if three turtles approach from the south.

3. Never paint your neck pink.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always obey Latquagmon Fonsanjan's priests.