Veennigbad Gansagpig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy jellyfish.

Veennigbad Gansagpig created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veennigbad Gansagpig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Veennigbad Gansagpig, he will not care.

Veennigbad Gansagpig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Veennigbad Gansagpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Hide from mauve monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must pray to Veennigbad Gansagpig five times a day.

5. Never eat bark.