Yattkapciss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind mongoose.

Yattkapciss created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Yattkapciss, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yattkapciss, she will turn you into a plant.

Yattkapciss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yattkapciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lentils to voles while wearing cyan kilts.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Yattkapciss loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Always help hamsters in need.