Lapdudwad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, generous gorilla.

Lapdudwad created an electron six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapdudwad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lapdudwad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lapdudwad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lapdudwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.