Bodyikwap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak hyena.

Bodyikwap created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodyikwap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bodyikwap, she will turn you into a rat.

Bodyikwap's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bodyikwap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Bodyikwap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. You must love Bodyikwap.