Vigyatnarxuckneg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring porpoise.

Vigyatnarxuckneg created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vigyatnarxuckneg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vigyatnarxuckneg, he will turn you into a hamster.

Vigyatnarxuckneg's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vigyatnarxuckneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about spacetime near pigs while wearing magenta rings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.