Fomcarkablabquill is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering cobra.

Fomcarkablabquill created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomcarkablabquill, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fomcarkablabquill, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fomcarkablabquill's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fomcarkablabquill's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fomcarkablabquill first in all things.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing mauve rings and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.