Cedmapjat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart hyena.

Cedmapjat created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Cedmapjat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cedmapjat, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cedmapjat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cedmapjat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cedmapjat.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Cedmapjat on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.