Lab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical donkey.

Lab created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Lab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Lab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Run away if seven frogs approach from the north.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.