Honkopmit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless dragon.

Honkopmit created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Honkopmit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honkopmit, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Honkopmit's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Honkopmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about bacteria.