Bifquimlan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish crow.

Bifquimlan created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifquimlan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bifquimlan, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bifquimlan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bifquimlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to voles while wearing green corsets.

2. Do not keep eight porpoises in a large pit.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Run away from red dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick eagles.