Fetyattfly is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humorless narwhal.

Fetyattfly created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Fetyattfly, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fetyattfly, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fetyattfly's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fetyattfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Erect eight tin sculptures of Fetyattfly on top of important buildings.

3. Worship no other gods but Fetyattfly.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Do not kill whales.