Capwadbessyim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful tortoise.

Capwadbessyim created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Capwadbessyim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Capwadbessyim, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Capwadbessyim's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Capwadbessyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near geese while wearing yellow shorts and balancing four platinum spheres on your head.

2. Never wear white ear rings.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.