Fathimgon Funbassfed is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciless chicken.

Fathimgon Funbassfed created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fathimgon Funbassfed, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fathimgon Funbassfed, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fathimgon Funbassfed's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fathimgon Funbassfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide if five gulls approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the south.