Jatzanyam Straghubbass is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage turtle.

Jatzanyam Straghubbass created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatzanyam Straghubbass, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jatzanyam Straghubbass, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jatzanyam Straghubbass' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jatzanyam Straghubbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.