Tonkjamnar is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring ant.

Tonkjamnar created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkjamnar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonkjamnar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonkjamnar's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tonkjamnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near otters while wearing yellow shoes and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

2. Always help pigs.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tonkjamnar must be the most important thing in your life.