Gofsigarm Banbitmig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, vain goose.

Gofsigarm Banbitmig created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofsigarm Banbitmig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gofsigarm Banbitmig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gofsigarm Banbitmig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gofsigarm Banbitmig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never eat bark.