Bitjintarp is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever bee.

Bitjintarp created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitjintarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitjintarp, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bitjintarp's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bitjintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Never chant in holy places.