Pakrigfud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered octopus.

Pakrigfud created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Pakrigfud, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pakrigfud, he will turn you into a plant.

Pakrigfud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pakrigfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pakrigfud's priests.

2. Do not kill great tits.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Pakrigfud in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about chromosomes.