Voltomkimfarbimflig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable human.

Voltomkimfarbimflig created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Voltomkimfarbimflig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Voltomkimfarbimflig, it will try to impress you with trees.

Voltomkimfarbimflig's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Voltomkimfarbimflig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine gold sculptures of Voltomkimfarbimflig on top of important buildings.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not take Voltomkimfarbimflig's name in vain.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near great tits while wearing white scarves and balancing eight iron spheres on your feet.