Janpin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless squid.

Janpin created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janpin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Janpin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Janpin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Janpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured frogs.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Feed all hungry doves.