Stafstankar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, caring aardvark.

Stafstankar created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafstankar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stafstankar, she will come to you in dreams.

Stafstankar's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Stafstankar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not skip in public.