Tensakyattgom is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered centipede.

Tensakyattgom created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tensakyattgom, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tensakyattgom, he will turn you into a tree.

Tensakyattgom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tensakyattgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Never paint your chest turquoise.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Never write about bacteria.