Tofced is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, clever rat.

Tofced created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofced, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tofced, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tofced's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tofced's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Always wear green.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near snails while wearing gray coats and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.