Quambetkental is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, caring centaur.

Quambetkental created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quambetkental, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quambetkental, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quambetkental's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quambetkental's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four manatees approach from the south.

2. Do not take Quambetkental's name in vain.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never look at moons.