Xenyarlsid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic seal.

Xenyarlsid created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenyarlsid, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xenyarlsid, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Xenyarlsid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Xenyarlsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xenyarlsid.

5. Do not commit murder.