Yakvanstik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented scorpion.

Yakvanstik created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakvanstik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yakvanstik, she will curse you with boils.

Yakvanstik's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yakvanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not keep nine bats in a large pit.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Never go into brown rooms.