Bisswipwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, able scorpion.

Bisswipwon created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisswipwon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bisswipwon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bisswipwon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bisswipwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bisswipwon.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.