Lakvilbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, kind wyvern.

Lakvilbonk created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakvilbonk, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lakvilbonk, it will turn you into a dog.

Lakvilbonk's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Lakvilbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Lakvilbonk must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Never feed lentils to sharks while wearing boots.