Koplinlimxen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish wolf.

Koplinlimxen created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Koplinlimxen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Koplinlimxen, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Koplinlimxen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Koplinlimxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Koplinlimxen.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never think about nebulae.