Niggigjam Zangeplak is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tiresome hydra.

Niggigjam Zangeplak created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Niggigjam Zangeplak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Niggigjam Zangeplak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Niggigjam Zangeplak's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Niggigjam Zangeplak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick pigs.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never sprint near aardvarks.

5. Do not hurt seals.