Kipcusswab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered eagle.

Kipcusswab created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Kipcusswab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipcusswab, it will remove you from existence.

Kipcusswab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kipcusswab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Never look at asteroids.