Gabmislen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring bear.

Gabmislen created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabmislen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gabmislen, it will turn you into a goat.

Gabmislen's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gabmislen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near cats while wearing brown shirts and balancing seven gold spheres on your head.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Hide if four mites approach from the south.