Futmetwee is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless chinchilla.

Futmetwee created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Futmetwee, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Futmetwee, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Futmetwee's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Futmetwee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three zinc sculptures of Futmetwee on top of important buildings.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near tortoises while wearing white skirts and balancing seven silicon spheres on your neck.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.