Satbonktan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent pigeon.

Satbonktan created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Satbonktan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Satbonktan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Satbonktan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Satbonktan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine goats in a large pit.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing cyan trousers and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.