Tigmetbedort is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, wise cow.

Tigmetbedort created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmetbedort, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigmetbedort, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tigmetbedort's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tigmetbedort's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three birds approach from the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help doves in need.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Tigmetbedort loves otters, so they must be honoured.