Gepominlad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful raven.

Gepominlad created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepominlad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepominlad, she will turn you into a tree.

Gepominlad's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gepominlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick doves.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing black kilts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.

5. Never eat bark.