Zenhottarp Cedxenkam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, humorless wasp.

Zenhottarp Cedxenkam created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenhottarp Cedxenkam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zenhottarp Cedxenkam, he will ignore you.

Zenhottarp Cedxenkam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Zenhottarp Cedxenkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat bark.