Stafjattin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish gerbil.

Stafjattin created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafjattin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafjattin, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stafjattin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Stafjattin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. You must love Stafjattin.

5. Never think about asteroids.