Witgansigdon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, prudent porpoise.

Witgansigdon created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Witgansigdon, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Witgansigdon, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Witgansigdon's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Witgansigdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Always obey Witgansigdon's priests.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not sit in public.