Jintinweg is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish turtle.

Jintinweg created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jintinweg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jintinweg, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jintinweg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jintinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to goats while wearing tights.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to ants while wearing blue shoes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.