Bumtunjip is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, selfish dove.

Bumtunjip created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtunjip, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bumtunjip, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bumtunjip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bumtunjip's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Hide if five sheep approach from the west.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.