Hapmigdap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, caring guinea pig.

Hapmigdap created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmigdap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hapmigdap, she will turn you into a dog.

Hapmigdap's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hapmigdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to swans while wearing corsets.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Erect six tin sculptures of Hapmigdap on top of important buildings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.